i was supposed to . . .

i was supposed to have a one-on-one with my favorite client.

i was supposed to have your tarot monthly medicine reading done and to you by the 1st of November.

i was supposed to meet with my GEMs partner to practice an energy coaching tool.

i was supposed to be in orientation for a dance class and project that i’ve been so excited to be a part of.

i was supposed to be writing my new book.

i was supposed to be getting the WM Grimiore ready for my 1st ever Black Friday sale.

i was supposed to …

But all those supposed “tos” dissolved into fire and fury the moment that life decided to hand me a lemon from a tree i didn’t even know we planted.

And now, surrounded by a sea of vital machines beeping, sanitizer dispensers dispensing, subtle and loud nurse banter, i’ve given up my supposed "tos" in favor of the tiny things that give me life—writing these words, talking to my parents, wiping my wife’s brow, finding moments of internal reprieve and stillness in the land of emergency and chaos.

Each breath feels like a win. Each extra moment i get to gaze into my wife’s closed eyelids is a gift. Each word channeled bears so much extra weight.

So i’m learning to be okay with my supposed "tos" not getting done in favor of soaking in as much of this life with my wife as i can.

Because her time, like yours and mine, is finite.

So why would i/we/us choose anything other than being radically present in the moments gifted to us by the Divine?

My wish for you in November and beyond is the blessing of presence—and all the miraculous milliseconds in between your life has to offer.

May this month’s tarot medicine reading help steward you there.

And so it is.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 🙏🏽